Chasing Tail

Chasing Tail - a list	Risa Horowitz
home

what if I stopped alienating myself
what if I weren't so defensive
what if I get a great job soon
what if I prove myself a fool
what if I weren't so naive
what if I didn't believe I was right all the time
what if I was right all the time
what if I wasn't so arrogant
what if I don't find a roommate
what if I can't afford to make my work
what if I didn't blow things out of proportion
what if I were laid back
what if I didn't care what people think of me
what if I don't pull it together
what if I don't recognize the facts
what if everybody else knows something I don't
what if I could be honest with myself
what if I was always cute and fun-loving
what if I make the wrong decisions
what if my judgement is impaired
what if I really can't rely on anyone
what if there's something really wrong with me
what if I started saying what I mean to say
what if I'm not really an artist
what if I don't get my work done
what if I prove myself wrong
what if I stopped trying so hard
what if nothing I do works
what if I just stayed focused
what if my body breaks down
what if I can't explain myself
what if I die tomorrow
what if I've missed my calling
what if I could keep quiet
what if I'd said something else
what if I could be simple
what if I was more complicated
what if I die on the road
what if I die wearing dirty panties
what if people wanted to spend time with me
what if I felt worthy of love
what if I felt worthy of success
what if I felt worthy of calm
what if I felt worthy of peace
what if I lose my vision
what if I kill my lungs
what if I couldn't see myself
what if I never spoke of myself again
what if I were really hungry
what if I gave up smoking
what if I gave up television
what if I gave up hollywood
what if nothing really matters
what if I've already lost my mind (and don't know it)
what if my feet grow
what if I spill coffee in my lap
what if I am a freak
what if I am simple
what if I am normal
what if the cost of gas keeps rising
what if we get killed
what if I just got dressed and walked away
what if I never took a photograph of myself again
what if I never took another photo again
what if I never made art
what if I stopped writing
what if I became a drunk
what if I'm really not a happy person
what if I always push people away
what if I worry myself to death
what if I stopped obsessing
what if I was a mind reader
what if I lost my friends
what if I never really had any friends
what if there's a fire
what if I became deaf
what if I became blind
what if I stopped taking the subdominant role
what if I believed in people
what if I didn't believe in people
what if I became frigid
what if I don't feel regular
what if I'm never hungry again
what if I've lost my neshema
what if I'm a lousy jew
what if I'm a lousy friend
what if I smash the walls down
what if I walked for hours in the cold
what if I lie in bed forever (you have the lovers)
what if I'm incapable of loving
what if I stopped pretending to be a good person
what if I stopped pretending
what if I stopped
what if I die young
what if I live long with a broken body
what if I live long with a broken mind
what if I live long with a broken heart
what if I was a heart breaker
what if I had real relationships
what if I knew what friendship is
what if I became a truck driver
what if the world runs out of silver
what if the world runs out of threes
what if my feet get cold
what if I got hooked on cocaine
what if I smoke myself to death
what if I try to antagonize people
what if I minded my own business
what if I don't change my clothing
what if I will never be happy
what if this is it
what if people are incapable of happiness
what if nothing matters
what if I never had it
what if I never empty my ashtrays
what if all I did was put puzzles together
what if I spend the rest of my life alone
what if I never come to reality
what if I chose to live on the streets
what if noone ever called me again
what if I quit
what If I knew why I do the things I do
what if I vandalized bathrooms
what if I lost everything
what if I become pregnant
what If I never touch anyone again
what if I pretend I never hear people the first time
what if I could really become absorbed with something
what if I were through fooling myself
what if I decided to fall
what if I decided not to get up
what if I never shook it off
what if I do it some other way
what if I became unreliable
what if I really was arrogant
what if I really was modest
what if I drop out
what if I completely withdraw
what if I completely get involved
what if I ignore people
what if I act like I'm in a world of my own
what if I became a crazy lady
what if I wasn't so banal
what if I didn't want more
what if I actually had a skill
what if I actually had a calling
what if I like reggae
what if I went out dancing once a week
what if I went out dancing seven days a week
what if I ignore someone long enough
what if I stopped setting myself up for disappointment
what if it's all for naught
what if I don't eat well
what if I get sick
what if I lose my apartment
what if I let my bills go
what if I go bankrupt
what if I never sell a work of art
what if I can't wake up
what if I become paralyzed
what if I make aliyah
what if I become frum
what if I kept kosher
what if I kept shomer shabbas
what if I married a man who never saw my pussy
what if I married
what if I never have children
what if I lose my ovaries
what if I get breast cancer
what if I go away
what if I became a different type of person
what if noone looks at me with love again
what if I can't make do
what if I panic more often than not
what if I didn't hurt so much
what if I really punished myself
what if I don't dig my heels in far enough
what if a part of me has died
what if I bore people
what if the toilet stops flushing
what if I had a good time
what if I stopped listening to music
what if I enjoy the landscape
what if I am imprisoned
what if I put my foot in my mouth
what if I shutup
what if I say the wrong thing
what if I sound stupid
what if I get a yeast infection
what if my allergies keep worsening
what if I run out of ideas
what if I can't talk to people
what if I can't figure out how to do something
what if I burn the place down
what if I get poisoned
what if I eat bad meat
what if I get the flu
what if I get flesh eating strep
what if I drink too much coffee
what if I ruin my life
what if I misrepresent myself
what if I draw blanks
what if I push myself too far
what if I don't try hard enough
what if I get stood up
what if I become forgetful
what if I'm hard to live with
what if I'm a demanding woman
what if I'm a woman who becomes crazier with age
what if I don't get my just rewards
what if I get stuck in the prairies
what if I never live in my hometown again
what if I have to keep moving
what if I never feel at home
what if I never feel settled
what if I lose the things that comfort me
what if I don't water my plants
what if I slip on ice
what if I get frostbite
what if I get wet
what if someone breaks into my place
what if my things get stolen
what if my things get damaged
what if I overwater my plants
what if things don't work as planned
what if I let go of planning
what if my balcony falls down from the wieght of snow
what if I keep getting the flu
what if I fall while rollerskating
what if I don't wash my hands often enough
what if I don't care for my toenails
what if I'm affected by too much caffeine
what If I can't afford to live well
what if I miss my bus
what if I'm late
what if I don't show up
what if all I did was play video games
what if all I did was write lists
what if I catch a chill
what if I overboil the chicken soup
what if I were to exercise
what if I cut myself
what if I get burned
what if I had an affair
what if I had many affairs
what if I didn't bathe
what if I couldn't speak
what if I couldn't do anything
what If I broke ties with my parents
what if I never sit in a chair again
what if I don't get paid
what if I bore myself to death
what if I don't read the paper enough
what if I don't' realize I'm incompetent
what if I don't match
what if I became foul-mouthed
what if I annoyed people
what if I didn't brush my teeth
what if I felt good
what if I keep running in circles around myself
what if I don't do a good job
what if I counted things
what if I don't count
what if I'm a loud-mouthed pushy Jew
what if my brother doesn't continue his Levitical line
what if women were the priests
what if my computer crashes
what if my art is ugly
what if I don't keep up with current events
what if an old love re-enters my life
what if I trip
what if I bleached my hair
what if I shaved my head
what if collected cool knick-knacks
what if I were really handy
what if I acted funny
what if I overshoot
what if I became a prostitute
what if I acted more silly
what if I jumped around on pogo-sticks
what if I got to stick my face into women's boobs
what if I told people their questions are irrelevant
what if I can't sit on the same toilet as a fat guy
what If I get raped
what if I offer my pussy up for view
what if I lost the sensation of touch
what if I stopped touching myself
what if I became a writer
what if I got to hold all the cocks I wanted
what if I miss the Oscars
what if I become a recluse
what if no one cares about your feelings
what if I was angry all the time
what if I let go
what if its not art
what if I didn't have rhythm
what if we all took what was ours
what if I stopped leaving doubt in peoples' minds
what if I never leave this place
what if I'm stuck here forever
what if I run out of fuel
what if I run out of energy
what if it all became very simple
what if there's nothing to say
what if I could walk away
what if I stopped what if''ing